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Showing posts from May, 2015

Keep calm and finish your PhD!

Bulan ini dua orang sahabat saya berhasil menyelesaikan PhD mereka.

Thomas, saya berpartisipasi membuat topi untuk Thomas selama dua hari. Joanna dan Hoai sangat bersemangat, idenya sangat orisinil. Saya mutar-mutar di Flohmarkt Rheiaue buat nyari lego dan sepeda. Malamnya kami menjemput Thomas di Hbf, membawa topi dan saya membeli buket bunga matahari untuknya. Lanjut mampir di rumah Thomas buat cerita. Kebahagiaan yang membuat dada saya penuh. Ah, kapan giliran saya ya?
Lijar, mampir di Koeln to say good bye sama saya dan zuhra. Ngantarin lijar ngeliat tembok gembok cinta di jembatan dan makan ice cream sambil mandangin Koeln Dom. Duduk bertiga ketawa-ketawa. Lijar bakal balik ke Aceh minggu depan. Entah kenapa saya sedikit bersedih lijar pulang. Berkurang lagi teman seperjuangan di Jerman tapi saya sungguh bahagia lijar menyelesaikan PhDnya dengan sangat baik.
Saya, masih tertatih-tatih, mengumpulkan kata, melawan semua rasa yang menekan, 
seperti tulisan yang kami tempel di topi T…

Quotes

Awal mei ini, saya punya tiga kutipan yang bisa menggambarkan suasana hati saya, tanpa harus banyak bercerita.

“you
not wanting me
was
the beginning of me
wanting myself
thank you” 
― Nayyirah Waheed

“Someone can be madly in love with you and still not be ready. They can love you in a way you have never been loved and still not join you on the bridge. And whatever their reasons you must leave. Because you never ever have to inspire anyone to meet you on the bridge. You never ever have to convince someone to do the work to be ready. There is more extraordinary love, more love that you have never seen, out here in this wide and wild universe. And there is the love that will be ready.” 
― Nayyirah Waheed

I think you still love me, but we can’t escape the fact that I’m not enough for you. I knew this was going to happen. So I’m not blaming you for falling in love with another woman. I’m not angry, either. I should be, but I’m not. I just feel pain. A lot of pain. I thought I could imagine how much …